Love is a Crapping Horse!

I been wanting to write this for so long that I can't even remember too clearly what I wanted to say. I'm going to attempt to write this anyway, So there!

At the outset I must claim that neither the statement nor the support is original. Quoted by Will Truman of the "Will and Grace" fame, it still is a profound statement. So why is Love a crapping horse you wonder? . Like Will says," Love is like being driven in horse drawn carriage on a moonlit night in a beautiful park. In the beginning it’s incredibly romantic but eventually you realise that you're cold and that you are staring at the butt of a horse that is crapping".

While this analogy maybe true for some of us, I'm sure that is still percentage of the love population who will take offence at this statement

So here is presenting a healthy comparison for and against this

statement.

Supporting this is easy. Compare 90% of all relationships in your life and I mean not just the romantic ones and you will see a pattern emerge.

Phase 1 a.k.a. Discovery Phase: is the most interesting. Everything about the person is an outstandingly brilliant insight into their psyche. You dug your nose as a child you must be someone who is not afraid of being who you really are. In this phase your just getting on to the horse carriage. The step, the leather upholstered cushions, the silky mane of the horse is all in all its glorious best.

Phase 2 or the Experience Phase: This is where you meet reality for the first time. This is the phase where you crave more space in the seat of the carriage. This is where you tell the guy to move his arm from your back or stop putting his leg into your space. We are both over 5 feet and though I'm holding my stomach in move you fat body into your side of the seat. This is where you reflect a lot on what his lack of giving space means. He's intrusive and its always about him, He doesn't care about your comfort. That should automatically mean that he's a control freak and his beliefs are still from the throwaway period of sexual politics where the little wife must be given a blender as a birthday gift so that she can make me my favourite banana smoothie for breakfast everyday This is where it annoys you that the stupid horse has the neigh so much.

Phase 3 or the Reality Check Phase: Now this where things hit an all time low. This is where nothing helps and some how everything gets worse. This is when you feel that the bloody leather upholstered seat in the bleeding carriage has gotten so embedded in you ass that it’ll probably have to be extracted surgically. From all the holding you’re stomach in your spine is irreversibly damaged. The smell of Horse fart covers every inch of skin and you feel the bloody horse farts one more time you’ll have to revived with electric shocks. In this phase if the guy so as breathes in your direction let alone speak you’ll want to clobber him. This is when the only conceivable option left for you is to jump off the carriage that travelling at 200kmph.

Which then brings me to the eternal question of "Why o why do we then stay with men?" Is it because of the age old Kamasutra truth that pleasure can only be achieved with pain? Is it because all women at the heart of it are sadists? Do we so enjoy being the victims? Is it because deep down we really want someone to take care of us? Because we realise when we are in love how liberating sex can be? Is it because we are romantically challenged? Or is it because as we run wild we are hoping someone will run with us?

Let’s face it men can sometimes be such animals, and yes most times they make you wish that owning a weapon was legal. But sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, you open the car door, or the bedroom door, or the hospital room door, and you find the real thing. You find a guy that can sit with you when you're at your absolute worst, And he can still look at you, and tell you that you are the most beautiful person he’s ever met.

Maybe there are no right moments, right guys or right answers. Maybe it would help if you just say what’s in your heart. Sure that a hard thing to do. Just like it is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. Yes, that takes courage because that means we may fall on our face or leave ourselves open to hurt.

Mayve it helps to remember, after all that is said, Computers still Crash, People continue to Die, Relationships will fall apart.

The best we can do is take a deep breath and reboot.